Kanyadaan is one of the most sacred and important rituals in an Indian wedding. This ceremony, which symbolises the bride’s transition from a daughter to a wife, is one of the main rituals in a Hindu wedding. Similar traditions are also seen in Christian weddings when the father of the bride walks her down the aisle and gives her hand to the groom at the altar.

The meaning of Kanyadaan, broken down as ‘Kanya’ and ‘Daan’, respectively translates to ‘girl or daughter’ and ‘donating or giving away’ in the Sanskrit language. In this ritual, the father of the bride places the bride’s hand, in hand with the groom’s, metaphorically transferring the responsibility of her well-being and happiness. This ceremony performed in front of all the wedding guests is a responsibility bestowed upon the groom by the father of the bride.

Understanding Kanyadaan Tradition and Its Origin

The ritual of kanyadaan has been prevalent in Indian weddings since the early ages and its roots can be traced back to Vedic scriptures. The ancient religious and legal texts of Dharamshastras, and the Puranas both talk about the kanyadaan as a meritorious act. In the Manusmriti scriptures, there is also the mention of the spiritual significance of the kanyadaan. It is believed that parents who perform this righteous act are bestowed with blessings and will be liberated from all earthly sins and the cycle of life and death. A lot of significance is given to the act itself to ensure that the parents of the bride put in all their efforts to find a man suitable to take care of their daughter.

Who should do kanyadaan and why is it done?

The ritual of kanyadaan is performed by the parents of the bride. In the unfortunate situation that the bride does not have parents, then her sibling and their spouse (eg: brother and sister-in-law) or even her aunt and uncle can perform the ceremony. The ritual is performed in front of all the invited guests to acknowledge the commitment that both families are making towards the union of the couple. By placing the bride’s hand on the groom’s, the father of the bride accepts this relationship wholeheartedly and bestows his blessing. It is also an indication of transferring the responsibility of the well-being of the bride on to the groom. The kanyadaan is performed to ensure that the groom accepts his duty to take care of his bride in front of all the guests, thereby increasing his accountability.

Rituals involved in Kanyadaan

In a Hindu wedding, the bride and groom are considered to be representations of Lord Vishnu and Goddess Lakshmi. All rituals are performed towards their union by treating them as Gods. Hence the act of giving away or donating the bride is an offering to Lord Vishnu and is considered extremely sacred. The rituals involved in kanyadaan are as follows:

• Washing of the groom’s feet: The parents of the bride wash the groom’s feet to prepare him to take on the responsibility of taking care of the bride. To ensure his readiness and purity, this ceremony is performed. In some cultures, this tradition is performed at the Kashi yatra ceremony.

• Placing the bride’s hand on the groom’s hand: Also known as hasta melap, this ceremony is done by the parents or just the father of the bride. They take the bride’s hand and place it on the groom’s. In some weddings, the groom’s parents hold the groom’s hand as well. This gesture shows that this ritual is all about the strength of the familial bond, where all six people put their hands together towards the union of the couple. This act of placing the couple’s hands on each other is performed with the priest chanting mantras. This is an extremely emotional tradition as from that moment onwards, the bride is part of another household.

• Pouring milk on top of a coconut: A coconut is laid on the couple’s joint hands and on top of that an idol of their preferred God is also placed in some cultures. The parents of the bride then pour milk three times, flowing from the idol to the coconut and their hands to symbolize continued blessings of prosperity and fertility in their lives. A few elders from the bride’s family also pour milk and bless the couple. The same ritual can be repeated after the main wedding when the wedding guests pour milk and bless the couple.

After the kanyadaan, the mangalya dhaarane (tying of the mangal sutra) ritual takes place. In Tamil Brahmin weddings, the tying of the knot is also a part of the kanyadaan as the bride is seated on her father’s lap as the groom ties the knot.

Understanding the Purpose Behind Kanyadaan

The kanyadaan in Vedas talks about the spiritual significance of parents of the bride performing this act. A daughter is considered to be the greatest blessing in Indian households – a representation of Goddess Lakshmi. To be able to give her away to an able man (who represents Lord Vishnu) who can take care of her needs is considered to be good fortune. All the ancient and religious scriptures say that performing this ritual will rid the parents of all the earthy sins, even the ones committed in their previous lives. They will also attain nirvana, or liberation from the cycle of life and death.

Even though cultural norms have evolved and society has changed to a large extent since the Vedas, the ritual of kanyadaan is still performed in the same manner. Small changes in the ritual are observed where both sets of parents symbolically transfer responsibility, making it a shared emotion, more suited for this day and age. The kanyadaan remains to be a sacred ritual, one that embodies the significance of familial bonds.