Though the term ‘wedding vows’ is not popularized in India, they have a presence in one form or another in most of our cultures. In Hindu weddings, the priest chants seven vows while the couple takes seven steps or seven Circumambulations around a fire – Saptapadi or Saat Phere. These are vows that have been written years and years ago to help couples lay a good foundation for their wedded life. But in recent times, we have seen numerous couples wanting to personalize these promises to each other while they exchange rings. Borrowing customs that you relate to from different cultures is a great way to make your wedding one to remember.

“I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down the aisle, I realized how simple it was.” this is what Chandler said to Monica during their wedding in Friends. But let us rewind back a few episodes and remember his dilemma. It’s not an easy task to write vows for your wedding. It’s like trying to describe eternity in a few words, and under two minutes. To help you make your way through this obstacle, here’s a small guide to jot down the points to perfection.

Throw the textbook out the window

Just before you throw it out, here’s a quote from the Notebook: “Poets often describe love as an emotion that we can’t control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense.” We all know this to be true. Love means different things to each of us and so it seems foolish to take inspiration from what has been written on ‘how love should be’. Of course, reading the conventional vows might give a start to your engine, but it’s not enough to get the vehicle moving further.

Rule #1: Make it your own.

What love means to you

A follow up from rule #1. Try to include this feeling in your vows. It could be as simple as, “Love is walking the dogs together” or as complex as “Love is an experience that awakens every cell in my body and lets me experience every moment of life.” or anything in between.

Rule #2: Close your eyes and take a deep breath, and think about what love means to you.

Tell your story

Go back in time a little or forecast your future in your vows. To give you inspiration, read what Pheobe said to Mike in Friends: “When I was growing up, I didn’t have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I’m standing here today, knowing that I have everything I’m ever gonna need. You are my family.” *Awwww*

Rule #3: Try to include your once-upon-a-time and forever-after moment.

Add humor

Weddings are an emotional high for everyone. Especially the bride and groom. Try to add a little humor to bring in the extra smile on your fiancé’s face, or even a stern stare while your audience laughs. It’s your choice, really. “Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind.” 27 Dresses

Rule #4: Show your partner that you’ll always make them laugh and it’s not just promises.

Make realistic promises

“I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.” Ten weeks after making these promises, Paige loses memory of her husband in The Vow. This movie, which is based on a real-life story depicts the unexpected challenges that life throws at us.

 Rule # 5: Most of us plan on doing this only once, so why not keep it realistic?

It’s okay to be cheesy with the love of your life

What’s life without a little cheese in it? We all have our inside jokes and quirky features to our relationship. Add a little twist to it and try and include it in your vows.

“I promise to save the olives even if I’m eating pizza without you.”

“I promise to take Instagram-worthy photos of you.”

“I promise to always root for your team, though I couldn’t care less who wins.”

“I vow to get a professional even though I really really want to try to do it myself first.”

Rule #6: It may be cheesy, but it might be great.

Don’t talk only about good times

Meredith & Derek from Grey’s Anatomy sign on a post-it note and call it a wedding: “To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running ever; nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when we’re old, senile, smelly.” Marriage is not a perfectly sailing ship. It has its ups and downs and being prepared for that is extremely important.

Rule #7: Let your partner know that you are prepared for better and more importantly, for worse.

When you’re stuck and you’re not sure what to say, remember that Bella from Twilight included even that in her vows: “When I first learned I was going to write my own vows, I panicked. I looked at the paper for hours, but no words came to mind. For in truth, there is no way to describe the way I feel about you.” This gives you a starting point, and trust us, once you start, the words will automatically flow through.

So, what are you waiting for?

Get on with writing them already! And do share them with us as we’d love to hear how you wooed your partner into marriage.